WARNING!!! a poopy diary
(mostly bad shit)
+ scans of things i own
(cool shit)
(mostly bad shit)
+ scans of things i own
(cool shit)
THEY ARE KEEPING ME SANE
[ welcome to ]
[my personal shityard]:
just a space for me to pour my thoughts that 80% might delete lol
just a space for me to pour my thoughts that 80% might delete lol
[ERM]: 12/23/24
Damn did i accidently take my meds twice today ...
its ok
im feeling ok Im happy im having a good time with fam
sometimes I feel like i been sinkin back into my shell a little though
and i kinda mope around
Its ok.
Damn did i accidently take my meds twice today ...
its ok
im feeling ok Im happy im having a good time with fam
sometimes I feel like i been sinkin back into my shell a little though
and i kinda mope around
Its ok.
[MY BAD]: 12/11/24
TMI warning sorry gang
But i was doing errands driving and...
i had to take a shit. Not the normal kind. It was so fucking horrible
And so i was nearby the place where i had to stop, i stopped by a bakery bc i was going to
get some stuff as well.
I ran for my fucking life ignoring my ugly ass parking
And as i made it around the corner, someone had just exit and the door was open
I had a quick glance, it was customers only with a code. I fucking made it in time before the door closed itself
It was gender neutral, but even if it was mens Idgaf
The stars had aligned for me today. Thank you god for not having me shit my pants.
TMI warning sorry gang
But i was doing errands driving and...
i had to take a shit. Not the normal kind. It was so fucking horrible
And so i was nearby the place where i had to stop, i stopped by a bakery bc i was going to
get some stuff as well.
I ran for my fucking life ignoring my ugly ass parking
And as i made it around the corner, someone had just exit and the door was open
I had a quick glance, it was customers only with a code. I fucking made it in time before the door closed itself
It was gender neutral, but even if it was mens Idgaf
The stars had aligned for me today. Thank you god for not having me shit my pants.
[ohhh goodness]: 12/5/24
Yeah i just need this off my chest while i wait for therapy next month :P
i love my man a lot but sometimes he is driving me crazy O_o
i've dicussed this before with him, about his plans for the future...
we are trying to achieve the same end goal, but our routes are so different from each other. its a route that i don't fully agree with. i understand his intent, but it makes me feel scared sometimes.
do you have to move further from me? you say sacrifice but what is that supposed to mean?
because how much longer do i have to wait? how many more once a month visits do i gotta wait for us to spend more time together
another few years on top of these several years already?
maybe you can wait longer than me, but i don't like that i sometimes feel a bit distant from you
i wish you cared about the now as much as you do for the future
for us
sometimes i feel you overachieve more than you need to, or maybe im just a lazy ass who thinks that any amount of work is doing to much lol
i care a shit ton about quality time you know, i know you do as well but please mean it. i hope you dearly mean it when you say you will try your best to make much more space for us
cause i love ya bug, even though you make my heart break a little sometimes
Anyways shoutout my therapist for making me think more about this. otherwise i might've exploded. that is, sooner.
hopefully i dont still :P
Yeah i just need this off my chest while i wait for therapy next month :P
i love my man a lot but sometimes he is driving me crazy O_o
i've dicussed this before with him, about his plans for the future...
we are trying to achieve the same end goal, but our routes are so different from each other. its a route that i don't fully agree with. i understand his intent, but it makes me feel scared sometimes.
do you have to move further from me? you say sacrifice but what is that supposed to mean?
because how much longer do i have to wait? how many more once a month visits do i gotta wait for us to spend more time together
another few years on top of these several years already?
maybe you can wait longer than me, but i don't like that i sometimes feel a bit distant from you
i wish you cared about the now as much as you do for the future
for us
sometimes i feel you overachieve more than you need to, or maybe im just a lazy ass who thinks that any amount of work is doing to much lol
i care a shit ton about quality time you know, i know you do as well but please mean it. i hope you dearly mean it when you say you will try your best to make much more space for us
cause i love ya bug, even though you make my heart break a little sometimes
Anyways shoutout my therapist for making me think more about this. otherwise i might've exploded. that is, sooner.
hopefully i dont still :P
[update]: 12/4/24
Finals is nearing and i hope i aint flopping my manga class
i feel alright. college has really been feeling like your passing on through life and just kind of alone. but being in upper division classes now with like-minded people has been making time run a bit slower, enough so that i can breathe and enjoy the now
my fear of the future has lessened, even though i still dont know what i want with my life lol
but yeah just living Wahahaha
Finals is nearing and i hope i aint flopping my manga class
i feel alright. college has really been feeling like your passing on through life and just kind of alone. but being in upper division classes now with like-minded people has been making time run a bit slower, enough so that i can breathe and enjoy the now
but yeah just living Wahahaha
[fear of the world]: 4/2/24
Insanely anxious recently. Not crippling bad but almost, i so very trying my best to keep myself together. physically uncomfortable and always overthinking.
ive been feeling pretty shitty sometimes at work because ive messed up and forget to things here and there. I try my best but I mess up a lot, especially alone.
i don't know what i am doing
being realistic is so hard
I want to cry sometimes and hide away from everyone. but i must persist in this difficult world.
Insanely anxious recently. Not crippling bad but almost, i so very trying my best to keep myself together. physically uncomfortable and always overthinking.
ive been feeling pretty shitty sometimes at work because ive messed up and forget to things here and there. I try my best but I mess up a lot, especially alone.
i don't know what i am doing
being realistic is so hard
I want to cry sometimes and hide away from everyone. but i must persist in this difficult world.
[entry 2]: 11/9/23
I am sometimes really scared that i will be so behind in this world and everything that i do will amount 2 nothing.
I am sometimes really scared that i will be so behind in this world and everything that i do will amount 2 nothing.
[entry 1 - beginning]: 11/1/23
as i am typing this im feeling ok. I hate the cold weather i hate the lack of sun. but at least i get to wear sweaters and jackets i absolutely love.
anyways. thatd be kinda cool to have a clothing section here too, but i'm just gonna devote all of them to my little dodaads. i can't wait to come back home... wait i forgot i have a long ass day today...
i wish i could come back home to some bright ass sun to take proper photos of my thrifted items/stickers so i can get this page filled... watever tho
as i am typing this im feeling ok. I hate the cold weather i hate the lack of sun. but at least i get to wear sweaters and jackets i absolutely love.
anyways. thatd be kinda cool to have a clothing section here too, but i'm just gonna devote all of them to my little dodaads. i can't wait to come back home... wait i forgot i have a long ass day today...
i wish i could come back home to some bright ass sun to take proper photos of my thrifted items/stickers so i can get this page filled... watever tho
